Allowing other people to have a negative influence over the way you think, feel, and behave, you’ll struggle reach your greatest potential. Giving away your attention robs you of mental strength and derails you from your goals.
There are several ways you might be giving away the potential to be overlooked and stay stuck. Here are 10 signs you’re giving away your personal and your earning power:
- You give in to guilt trips.
If you change your mind every time someone tugs at your heart strings, you give others power over your behavior. If you really don’t want to do something, be strong enough to stick to your choices, even when someone tries to take you on a guilt trip.
- Your self-worth depends on other people’s opinions of you.
Not everyone is going to like you. But, you don’t have to let one person’s opinion define who you are or how you feel about yourself.
- You have trouble setting boundaries.
You get to decide who to allow into your life. If you grow resentful of people who take up too much of your energy, it’s a sign you aren’t setting clear boundaries.
- You complain about all the things you have to do.
You also get to decide how to spend your time. No one forces you to go to work, see the dentist, or attend that family gathering. As an adult, you get to make the rules.
- You hold grudges.
Grudges won’t do anything to diminish the other person’s life, but it can wreak havoc on your own. Whether someone hurt you yesterday or 10 years ago, holding a grudge allows that person to take up more space in your life.
- You’ve changed your goals based on other people’s opinions.
Many super successful people—like J.K. Rowling and Madonna—were rejected at one time or another. But they didn’t let rejection stop them. Changing course just because someone doubts your abilities gives that person power over your life.
- You’re hypersensitive to criticism.
Feedback from other people can be instrumental in helping you become your best. But, if you value other people’s input too much, you may avoid doing anything that could lead to criticism. And that could prevent you from living your best life.
- Other people have the ability to bring out the worst in you.
If you allow someone else to cause you to get so angry you say or do things you later regret, or you succumb to pressure to do something against your values, you give away your power. It’s important to behave according to your values, no matter what is going on around you.
- You spend a lot of time talking about people that you don’t like.
Every minute you spend thinking about someone you don’t like, or complaining about someone you don’t want to be around, is 60 more seconds you give that person. When you dwell on negative people, you give them power over your thoughts.
- Other people determine the kind of day you’re going to have.
The kind of day you’re going to have should center around the boss’s mood or your co-worker’s actions. It’s up to you to make it a good day despite whatever is happening around you.
Take Back Your Power
It’s never too late to take back your power. Commit to becoming the driver—rather than the passenger—in your life. Decide that you’re going to be in control of how you think, feel, and behave regardless of the situation you find yourself in. That decision alone may well put you in line for a higher salary!
Having difficulty making changes? Contact me for a consult.
Solo and Small Biz Change Agent, Marie-Helene Sakowski at firstname.lastname@example.org